Rethinking Style Rules: The Psychology Behind Why We Follow Them

What style rules reveal about our need for structure and belonging.

After writing my last article on style rules and where so many of our millennial ideas come from, I realized I wasn’t quite done with the topic. Something about it keeps tugging at me, maybe because I’m in the thick of questioning my own rules and navigating a personal style shift. It’s a messy, introspective process—one that I know I’m not alone in. Style isn’t static; it evolves with us, reflecting the changes we go through in life. And yet, the rules we’ve absorbed, whether consciously or not, can feel oddly permanent, shaping how we see ourselves even as we grow and change. This tension between what we’ve been taught and what we’re discovering about ourselves feels worth exploring—because for every shift in style, there’s often a deeper shift in identity happening underneath.

Rules have always been a cornerstone of human behavior. They guide us, create boundaries, and simplify the world into something manageable. In style, rules have historically done the same: they streamline overwhelming choices, provide a roadmap for navigating trends, and offer a sense of belonging in a world where individuality and conformity often clash.

But why do we gravitate toward rules, especially in the realm of personal style? And how have platforms like social media amplified their influence? To understand this, we need to examine not only the rules themselves but also the psychology of why we follow them—and who we allow to make them.